Infidelity or extramarital affairs have been extensively studied over the past two decades and a lot has been discovered. Unfortunately, most of the evidence indicates being faithful to a single romantic partner is difficult to do.

To start with, human sexuality is incredibly complex. Decisions about our sexual behavior are typically not planned in advance. Few people intentionally plan on committing infidelity (at least the first time it happens).

When making promises to be faithful, most people are serious and have every intention of keeping their word. But while people generally have the best intentions when making such promises, human behavior is not always governed by the fact that vows were taken and promises were made.

When it comes to making decisions about love and betrayal, logic and reason have a difficult time competing with our emotions for control. Simply put, logic and reason often take the backseat to our emotions when it comes to love and romance. So from time to time, our emotions can get the best of us and lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling.

In short, most infidelity occurs, not because it is planned, but because people find themselves in situations where their emotions lead them astray.

What types of situations influence our emotions and bring out the worst in our behavior?

• Being close or interdependent on someone other than ones spouse
• Being around someone who is sexually interested
• Spending a lot of time one-on-one with someone else
• Not feeling close or connected to ones spouse (e.g., feeling lonely, being upset or angry with a spouse, etc.)
• Situations that create the sense of opportunity - the feeling that one will not get caught (e.g., meeting someone in private, out of town trips, a lot of time away form a spouse, etc.).
• Situations involving alcohol or drugs