Prior to describing how to strengthen your child's self-esteem, let us take a moment to understand the value of raising children with healthy self-esteem.

In order to define a things importance, it is often helpful to look at what would happen without that thing. So, ask yourself this question: What happens to kids that grow up lacking self-esteem? How does their low level of confidence adversely affect their lives?

Children who unfortunately lack self-esteem are plagued with self doubt and feelings of inferiority. As a result of the critical manner in which they view themselves, these youngsters do not apply themselves in school and at work. They do not feel deserving of a prominent or well-paying job, and when promotion opportunities are imminent, they generally self-sabotage their own path to success. In their adult relationships, they are likely to believe that they do not deserve a loving partner, therefore often choose to marry people with destructive habits or abusive tendencies.

With those unfortunate scenarios being the outcome of a child's lack of self-esteem, the crucial question begs to be answered: What can we parents do to assure our child's self-esteem?

There are many factors involved in raising children who do possess a healthy level of internal esteem, yet one point is absolutely essential:

Your child must feel that he or she is the path towards your happiness and not an impediment to it.

Recently, we were guests for lunch at a family with four school-age children. Mrs. Smith, their mother, began to elaborate a horrible incident that had recently occurred. "It was truly a terrible time, I mean, it war really a horrible day," she expounded. "It was a snow day, and I was stuck home with all of the kids for over twenty-four hours." She continued to describe the terrible day, yet I stopped listening and silently gasped in shock. You see, all of the Smith kids were sitting nearby when their mother retold this incident. The children merely continued with their bread and cheese; while their mother went on to complain about the impact the snow day had on her plans.

Simple psychological math states that the Smith children will sadly grow up to be people lacking self-esteem.

In a childs mind, parents are the center of the universe. Children do not yet possess the strength of ego to say to themselves, "Well, maybe Dad is wrong, and I'm really a valuable person, yet he just doesn't appreciate me enough."

No! Children will subconsciously think, "Well, I guess the game/ newspaper/ his job are simply far more important than I am. I must not be too loved or cherished."

What are some steps we parents can take to ascertain that our children do feel that they are the path towards our happiness, and thus ensure their self-esteem? Here are just a few suggestions, and you will undoubtedly think of more as your proceed to raise your child with these thoughts in mind.

1) Greet your child happily when he returns home from school. Stop what you are doing, even if it means hanging up the phone or turning off the flame on the stove, in order to give several moments of undivided attention to the child that was just away for a few hours.

2) Send your child off to school in the morning with love, even if it means waking up thirty minutes early, in order to have the peace of mind to do so. There is no comparison between the school day of a child that was sent off with a calm hug and kiss, satisfying breakfast, and "Have a great day, honey, I'll miss you!" and the child that was rushed out of the house amid a hectic morning.

3) Say I love you! Say, I am proud of you! As simple as it sounds, say it often and emphatically. Your child cannot read your mind. Although you may be thinking, My daughter knows how much I love her if your actions have demonstrated that other activities come first, she may not be secure in that knowledge. When you express your emotions, your child will have a head-start on life by being comfortable and confident with the world of feelings.

Your child knows that you are busy, youve told him so a thousand times! When you make the time for him in a focused manner, he feels loved and valued as a person, and those feelings will translate into a person with a healthy dose of self-love and self-esteem.

Lastly, this little trick does wonders to keep me in perspective while living in the fast lane:

How do children spell love? T I M E !