Being a good flirt has as much to do with not doing the wrong things as it does with doing the right things. Flirting is difficult because there's such a fine line between being successful and crashing and burning. It's so easy to do everything right, but then ruin all of your progress by making one of the all too common mistakes below.
1) Don't be crude
If you make obvious and nasty sexual innuendoes, you aren't being a turn on, you're being a pervert...unless you're a girl (then it's ok).
2) Don't ignore body language
Over 65% of communication is non-verbal. If you aren't actively looking at the way their body is shifting or what the person's eyes are saying, you're going to miss a lot of obvious signs that say "I'm into you, keep talking."...or..."You're a freak, and I don't want you around a second longer."
3) Avoid being overtly slick
It's fine to act cool, but don't go overboard. You won't seem like yourself...and that's not attractive.
4) Don't be silly
Flirting should make your target feel sexy and wanted, not entertained. You want to be perceived in a sexual way...not as the funny guy or girl.
5) Don't be excessively cute
If you act too cute (unsexy), you'll be seen as an innocent and nice person. That's great if you want to be just a friend, but not for anything more.
6) Cut your losses if it's obvious your actions aren't appreciated
If your flirtations are clearly visible and you aren't being flirted with back, it's time to pack it up and move on.
7) Don't show fear
Insecurity is perceived as a terribly unattractive sign of weakness. If you want to get your target to take you seriously, you've got to hide your nerves. This means no...stammering, fidgeting, wandering eyes (off into the distance), wavering voice, etc.
8) Avoid being overly touchy feely...unless you're a girl
This is specifically aimed at the guys. It's not appropriate to grope or touch a woman unless you know she likes you. If you aren't sure that she's into you, it's ok to lightly touch her shoulder or graze her arm...but that's it! Do not put your arm around her waist or constantly touch her shoulder or body. This will freak her out and make her feel terribly uncomfortable around you. |
