OK those of you that have been with my for any time at all know that I have talked about the two reasons why we don't succeed, no matter what your definition of success is. So why am I talking about three reasons now? Well I have been thinking about this for a short while, and I believe that the third reason can be tied into the other two, but I think it is important enough to give it its own category. So what are the three reasons? 1) Guilt 2) Previous experience 3) Self Image Over the next few days I will be talking about these success killers. The simple fact is that often times recognition of one or more of these sabotaging agents will sometimes be enough to get rid of it. The illogical thought process will sometimes just be kicked out, because you realized it was there. Sometimes, however, it will take some real and intensive work to get rid of these patterns. Either way, knowledge of them is the first step to obtaining success n whatever you are working towards Today I am going to talk about guilt. Years ago a friend of mine named Donald was a world class billiards player. I don't mean that he was OK for the bar or that he was a good local player, I mean he has played and beat some of the best players in the world. If you are familiar with the game of billiards or pool in the for the last 25 or 30 years, you would recognize some of the names of the people that Donald had beat. You would, in all likelihood, however not know Donald's name, even if I gave you his full name. He was told by one old timer, Jim Rempe I think, that he should enter the US Open. Jim knew he could win, and once he won he could go over seas and do exhibition matches. He would make a bundle of money and be treated like a king. Jim told him this, by the way, after Donald had beat him in a match. So Donald was one tournament away from fame and fortune doing what he loved. That seems pretty successful to me! Now granted it was the US Open, maybe the hardest tournament in pool, but he could win if he tried. So why is it that most people who love the game have never heard of Donald and why is it that he was my roommate in a house that was getting foreclosed on? I will tell you. Donald felt guilty about having anything, even a title. That is the reason. That's it. Simple huh? The only thing holding him back from succeeding was guilt. Donald was a great guy. He would literally give his last dollar to a homeless guy. He would give you the shirt off his back in a heart beat. But he never had anything, including a place to live. Donald is an extreme case, but many people fell the same way. They feel guilty about accumulating any wealth. The guilt may come from the idea that others don't have as much. Or it may be because your parents, sister, brother, or cousin isn't as successful as you. It could be guilt that you may have to spend more time away from your family (that is not true by the way). There are literally dozens of reasons why people feel guilty about being more successful. Perhaps you feel guilty about having a great relationship. Guilty that you are leaving your Mom or Dad. Guilty about children from a past relationship.(I am talking about "replacing their mother or father. You should always do your best to take care of your children. Your new spouse should understand that or you should tell him/her to leave!) Perhaps you feel guilty about having a great relationship because none of your friends do, and after all why are you so much batter than them. I know this stuff sound silly, but I am telling you it can kill you hopes and dreams. Often these feelings are buried deep in your mind and you don't even realize they are there. The good news is that they are often easily dismissed once identified. That's right, the premise of these feelings is so ridiculous, that often our minds kick them out as soon as we realize they exist. The problem is realizing they exist. That is one of the many things I talk about in my book "The Barbarian's Guide to Success". It has exercises I used, and still use, to change my thinking, and literally pull to to success in whatever I focus on. With that I will say: Get the Barbarian Mind Set and keep it. Stay tr to yourself and your family, the rest will take care of itself. Welga! |
