When I was growing up, one of my favorite columnists was the late great Sydney J. Harris. One of my favorite quotes from him is: "When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" He had a way of cutting through the fluff and straight to the point. Long, long before I ever dreamed of having the privilege of writing a column, I looked forward to reading his column. My favorites were the ones he called "Things I've learned while looking up other things." I guess I was being influenced more than I realized, because to day marks the first column of life musings and lessons, called, in honor of Sydney J. - Things I've noticed along the way so far Couples who get married thinking that marriage is a 50/50 proposition have a lot to learn about marriage AND math. Folks who brag about being brutally honest seem to enjoy the brutality more than the honesty. I don't trust parenting experts who hold up their own family, not just as an example of their own at-home laboratory, but as the perfect ideal. No matter how good things get, I can always find a way to mess it up. Two quick and fairly accurate ways to assess the character of people: 1) What's on their bookshelf? 2) How do they handle money (no matter how much they have)? Adults tend to talk about teen-agers as if they are at best, from a foreign country, and at worst, another planet. We ALL hurt in the same places. As much as I am blessed to get the inside perspective on the female view of the world everyday in my office or seminars I'm still just a male, which simply means that there are certain things I will never completely get. And what's worse, it will never even occur to me at first to consider some things, just because I have never actually, physically looked upon the world through female eyes. I'd trade all my success in a second for that wonderful feeling you get when you spend time with a trusted friend who understands and accepts you. There are still times when I wish I could talk with and get my dad's perspective on a problem. Marriage, like success, or just about anything else, is really not so very difficult. The tools are out there, and have been for a long time. We just have to be willing to consistently use them. There's really just no room for pride in an intimate relationship. As soon as I hear myself judging someone, or saying I would never do that!, I know it won't be long until I'm faced with a similar situation. Most folks operate under the false notion that you can't see into car windows at a stop light. |
