Yippie! Christmas is almost here! The time of year that conjures up visions of grandmother serving a perfectly carved turkey to a family of smiling, happy faces, carols sung round the ol tannenbaum as children ooh and ahh over the gifts they are sure to treasure for years and years Ah, yes, the holidays - genuine pleasure which can only come from the company of loving relatives gathered to celebrate the joy of simply being together. And, if you believe the above scenario is the rule, then Ive got a few thousand acres of beachfront property in North Dakota Id like to sell ya. For most of us, our holiday gatherings look less like Christmas at the Cleavers and more like the Griswalds. Most families do not have the relaxing, soothing holiday gathering that they think everyone else is having. So, this year, try to lessen the stress by remembering one thing: There simply are no perfect families! We are human beings, with all the flaws, frailties and ummm, lets just say personality quirks, which go with our species. Despite what Hallmark would like you to believe, there is just no such thing as a picture-perfect family. Case in point: Martha Stewart. This isnt me being cynical; its just the truth. Every family has some sort of less-than-perfect dynamic, whether they admit it or not. Accepting your family for their own unique flavor and not getting caught up thinking your celebrations are inadequate because your peeps might happen to put the fun in dysfunctional, gives you the opportunity to genuinely value one another. Whenever I think of holiday gatherings, my mind returns to the thrilling days of yesteryear when I was 19. I was attending a rehab school 800 miles from home. Having just arrived a few weeks before Thanksgiving, there was no reason to fly home for a very short break. Instead, some old friends who happened to live nearby invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. Here, far from home, away from my family and in an unfamiliar environment I had one of the best celebrations ever, and learned a valuable lesson. There is a beautiful human dynamic created when people gather together out of true desire, not obligation. For some, having loving, supportive relatives comes naturally with that familys DNA. Others have to reach outside the typical bindings of blood to find people who value and love them for no other reason than for who they are. Ive found no better definition of family than Richard Bach gives in one of my favorite books, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. My freshman year of college, a friend suggested I read, Illusions. So I did. In one sitting. In three hours. Yes, it is just that good. But, I digress - heres the quote: The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life. Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof. Christmas is the perfect time to evaluate your relationships, to accept your family, your friends, even yourself - complete with flaws and all. Take time to embrace the people that, by being part of the tapestry of your life, make your world sweeter. This is the perfect time of year to let them know how much you value the unique gift they bring - themselves. This is the Christmas spirit that should stay with us throughout the entire year! And, of course, Carson and I send seasons greetings to you and your family! |
